But as long as he is aware of what could be around the corner in a bad relationship, you must back off, let him make his mistakes, and let him find his joy. She pretends to be having no issue to me at times but I am concerned that this will have a negative impact on our relationship with her (mother) once we get married. Young boys with low self-esteem are attracted to girls that make them feel good about themselves. Whenever I would tell my son anything, he then went back and told her about it. He has began college on a full scholarship but lives at home. It's been a year now that I noticed this one girl, I think she's 15 or 16 yrs old, always come to our house to pet my dog. Because we only have his best interests at heart. I decided to post this comment because I am proof that doing right by your child or a person does not mean that you will be okay. Kids, especially teens in their first relationship, may not recognize the signs of a toxic relationship. But this article gave me too a different perspective. There have been several instances when we would see her mom and when we did, she always had a comment to make about the kids. But instead of staying near home with friends (he had burned bridges because of her)he ran back to the big city where he graduated, brought her with him and there is when she resumed prostitution. "She might have been born poor but that made her humble unlike the other women I've met who are materialistic and vain. The reality is that no matter what I did or you do, this girlfriend whoever she is, is there for a reason in your life. Cowboys Draft Longhorns LB: 'They Love My Effort!' Hi Lori. My father passed away the day before Mother's day . You can't help solve a problem until you know what it is. He has never been pressured to study anything he does not want to - made his own choices & is supported in his hobbies & passions; which she is not really supporting as they take time from her. The request for him to be home is solely for him to have some healthy space for himself and to focus on study occasionally. I am terrified that I won't know where my son is and what he's doing. Her cooking did not last. Explain to him how his girlfriend's behaviour is undesirable. His driving has changed since he smokes he drives more irrationally now, was a great calm driver till he started smoking. I was working a temporary job and since he was the only one working a full-time permanent job, I asked him to stay with me and help with the bills. Well, they have been going together for four years. My son began dating this girl when he was 17. 210K views, 25K likes, 8.6K loves, 132K comments, 25K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Zion Prayer Movement Outreach: NIGHT OF OPEN HEAVEN (22ND APRIL,. And you and your husband will always be there for him no matter what. But yes, as the title says, my girlfriend doesn't love me anymore. He is smart. Concentrate on your relationship with him. But both she and your son need help and together, the results of their relationship have gotten them cutting, threatening suicide, and landing in detention. So When my niece told me that, I asked him if the girl came to the house.. but he denied it! He does not seem concerned for his son's health and well-being. Your sweet, humble wife will not be threatened by it and your mother's insecure ego will be soothed. What can I do? My son's girlfriend doesn't like me and has banned me from visiting the Our grown children won't want to be around us if we're always offering our unsolicited opinions or judgments! This girlfriend of your son's doesn't sound like she would make a good mother or will make him happy in the long run. !Grow up. "The key is to start from . After Christmas last year he suddenly informed us that he found an apartment closer to her. Be sure to tell them you love them. Sometimes, there is no way to save your loved one from his mistakes (and life is for learning and one tends to learn best through making mistakes). Take the initiative when you sense genuine estrangement. Your disapproval. They talked all day, worked and slept with the cell phones connected. Anyways, she began cutting herself when they fought which made him distraught. My 17 year old son has been dating his girlfriend for a few months now, they were also friends for about a year or so prior. Please do something for your grandson's safety and well-being. 2K views, 27 likes, 7 loves, 18 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Dbstvstlucia: DBS MORNING SHOW & OBITUARIES 25TH APRIL 2023 APRIL 2023 No. Remember, if you read my above comments, you'll understand what I mean when I say, "Call to the kitten." In the beginning sge was living by those two rules. This way, he'll learn quick that you are not controlling or directing his choices. She pretends that she does not see me or ignores me. Do not allow these children to move in because of the support factor and that her family has already made the statement that he would abuse the kids. I have not said anything critical of her until a few days ago which was after his telling me that she was now claiming all the new clothing purchased for her baby who is now 9 months old. Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? What you might see as great experiences for young people may not be what he enjoys or wants to experience during his youth. Thank you very much for your guidance! Ouch. I always told my kids that if they wanted to "play house" with a lover than they needed to own up to all the responsibilities that comes with that privilege. Son's girlfriend doesn't like me | Health24 Generally, women who go into nursing are very nurturing, patient and compassionate people. I tried to talk to my son several times but he brushed me off. I guess what i am trying to tell you is don't do what i did and TELL him all the red flags you see. She lied about being pregnant last year, she has cheated on him and he still chooses her. If he wants private time with her which is an adult privilege, he needs to own up to that adult responsibility of having his own place. For the first 8 months we got along very well. He gets esteem from that. Lesson learned! It really is as simple as that! Your email address will not be published. My son learned and is so much wiser and stronger for it. She may even be jealous of your guy friends. We are all heartbroken and only talk with him occasionally. Continue loving your mother and expressing it. Being manipulated to the point where he cannot see friends without her & is changing his personality, kind and helpful but not allowed to help his family move house without her creating a huge amount of stress on him taking a night away. Good luck. I am going to tell you for the 6 months I have known her I have never said anything negative to her are about her. So I let him waddle in the mess he made for about 6 months - until one day I just decided that I didn't want him to suffer. Thank you. How can a man, my son, allow someone to treat me as such and why is it acceptable to him? Are you protesting this relationship? I feel for you because sometimes it isn't our fault at all but what is going on in their own heads. If they are meant to be together, there is nothing you can do about it. My adult sons girlfriend hates me (jealous, father, person, member OK mamas, admit it: no one is good enough for your son. After a week I went to meet him for lunch and found out that he was living in his car! When You Don't Like Your Son's Girlfriend. The scary part is - now that he is doing well and fully supporting her - it is gonna be 10 times harder to get rid of her. Not once did she bring her children and to be honest, she was not allowed. Everyone is worth rescuing. Is that what he wanted? He did end up getting an apartment a few weeks later (with our help), and is currently enrolled in a local college. It's hard not to mother our children, even if only in tone of voice and energy. Watching your kid with a controlling significant other can be challenging. Do not address the negative comments that she is making to others or she will have to defend herself and she'll get resentful towards your fianc. We then see pics of he and his girlfriend hanging out at the park, or movies, or with her family (taken on the same day as the one we tried to get together). There is a Japanese proverb that goes, "Bend the tree while it is young." I said okay, but changed his mind and said, give me $30 instead because I want to treat "the girl" with me! I always tell him to be honest and don't lie to me if ever she likes someone else so I know whats going on with him. As the mother of your child and your future wife, she deserves your loyalty and devotion. Now me and my husband because we do not approve. Try to treat him like the independent young man he has become. THIS GIRL IS TRULY A BAD INFLUENCE.SHE CONSTANTLY DRINKS, SHE HAS TWO CHILDREN THAT SHE DOES NOT CARE FOR. Scarlet and I do not speak. My issue is that she comes over to our house at least 3 days a week, but But you did give me a good idea about turning this subject into a blog! You may want to introduce an activity that keeps them occupied instead of spending time with the manipulative partner. The VERY 1st time I met her did not turn out goodclothing (left nothing to ghe imagination); cussed horribly (every other word was the F bomb); and she was SO extremely disrespectful to my son (he just stood there like a deer caught in the headlights and took it). However, it would be a tragedy to hang on and settle for a so-so relationship only to run into the love of your life later on when you're committed to this dissatisfying one. How do you intervene without becoming an anti-girlfriend bad guy? Not sure if I will do it, but it sounds good. When did the young men (mid 20s) become so accepting of being cheated on, emotionally abused,mmmoyand being dominated by their. Asks them questions about how they feel about their situation. It is important to have cell phone rules for kids. My girlfriend (20F) doesn't like me(20M) taking her pictures. I didn't smother her with love just showed her that she was special. I don't know what he is going to do, and none of them will talk to me. But you'll be the one who has to live with your choice for the rest of your life. This is why it's essential to listen to the people who know you best and love you most (like your siblings . He doesn't recognize it but he is being passive-aggressive. When the opportunity arose, we did mention that it might be a good idea to look into their future together to see what type of mother and wife she would make because he would have to fill in for any of her deficits there. Moving on, as my son got the career opportunity, Scarlet came every week and they lived on the phone 24/7 because she cheated on him twice and he could not trust her. "Mom, this girl makes me happy." My greatest concern is for my grandson. "The kids really love her." Because when she knows this, she'll do anything to make you happy in return even if that means accepting the new love of your life. Today I mad him leave with no where to go and cried after her left and watched him load that tiny car. So the more you attack her, the more he'll defend her. I have relived the last 1-1/2 years over and over in my mind. The highs, the lows. Seriously. Fifteen years from now, she'll be on oxygen and in a wheel chair. His girlfriend couldn't choose between them. www.mumsnet.com My eldest son is a well educated child, good exam results, excellent uni then he started a relationship with a woman and it totally changed him. He has allowed her to disrespect me in every sense of the word. This has caused some problems be Dear Amy: My 18-year-old son (who is in high school) has had a girlfriend for the past year. now he drinks, does weed and cigs. Last night, my son invited his father and I to their wedding! The fact that they began to date when she was only 15 shows me that he might like playing the older, wiser man. Any advice and insight on these situations of life. We just want him to have a healthy relationship that does include friends and other people rather than so wrapped up around this family with no responsibilities and can come and go as he pleases at their house. No bad-mouthing, no cursing, no anger. Heres what to do if you hate your sons girlfriend. If you are together in 5 years when college is over great, but don't miss out on so much of your young lives. do oysters taste like fish. Things continued to worsen. There is a social hierarchy with a code of acceptance or rejection. Do your best to show how your wife has increased the joy in your life and their lives (your parents'). nice! Scarlet announced to my son that she was going to get her kids and bring them to live with them and she can't/won't pay anything. Your son may be too hooked in love to understand that hes in an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes, a seemingly "nice" kid will be attracted to a "bad" girl because she represents the side of him that he wishes he could express. What would you suggest at this point? You see he is rescuing her from anxiety depression and anorexia, due to his EQ. Needs constant contact, validation, and attention. Well, he told her and the woman blasted my sweet friend (and me) on social media so that the world could see!! Kids don't realize that hearts do mend. 7. My advice to you is to be non-confrontational about his relationship. The mother would make comments about how he could finally take her out on a real date. Like taking my younger sons things and hiding them in her dresser, stupid things like his hair gel and she seems extremely jealous of my younger sons close relationship with Matt. How can I turn a blind eye to all that I know about this woman? Note that I do not live with my parents as i am an independent person and have a professional job. They moved near me with her baby was about 3 months of age. How long do these things last? We had a great few days together but she stayed well away, pretended she was working but our son looked unhappy so his father asked him if he was happy, his siblings have always had a solid relationship and they heard him on the phone to him, her tone was very sharp towards him. AT THIS POINT I FEEL THAT I CAN ONLY PRAY THAT GOD WILL GET HIM AWAY FROM THIS HORRIBLE PERSON.I AM TRULY SADDENED AND DISAPPOINTED IN MY SON.PLEASE,GIVE ME SOME GOOD ADVICE. I feel at a loss because my son and I have always been close until she came along. She's young and she'll go through a lot of changes just within the next few years alone. Her hurt will only add to the mess. Another essential step you should consider is scheduling consistent family time. We have always tried so hard as a family to make her . Have they always treated you this way? Where is this leading him? ParentalQuestions.com 2021 All rights reserved. My mom, myself, my family, we didn't celebrate Mom's day this year. We helped him buy his first flat, his family all chipped in to help, he had a good job, then things changed again when he met a new girl, she has a child and is a few years older again like the last. But he might have to see that "her love" isn't so healthy--or true. Its your parental responsibility to take action and start a conversation with your son about his manipulative partner. When we confronted my son with the info, he first pretended that he didn't know but through conversation we realized that he knew all along. However, the reality is that my relationship with my son has changed and I can't really see any improvement as long as he is with this woman. What kind of life is that? It seems that the more I took his side or stood up for myself, I was no longer useful to either one. I'm not in the position that I can feed him, her, her 2 stoner teens & young daughter. The McIlhenny family is . Thank you! He might insist that he "loves" her so do not challenge that.

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